Procrastination

I’ve been rather unable to write of my exploits of late.  I feel like that’s a good thing, though.  You know?  I used to use this blog as some sort of cathartic vacuum, that I was allowed to yell into and vent all of my frustrations concerning the world, and my own dissatisfaction with how I interact with it.  I don’t anymore, though.

I always reference my happiness.  Or, I guess referencing earlier, my lack thereof.  Why does my happiness matter?  Well, it doesn’t.  But the point being, no one writes a story about being perfectly happy.  Something always comes up.  Shit always hits the fan.  The best laid plans are torn asunder.  And so on, and so forth.

But not anymore.  I am going to write now, because I want to.  I kept on putting this off, because I thought I had to have some sort of witty, idiosyncratic, and clever take on German society.  It was either that, or wallow in self pity.  And because both were out of reach, I put this off.  But I’m done.

I’m going to Berlin this coming weekend.  And I plan on taking it all in.  I don’t even know where I’m supposed to go, but I know I will.  Sabine will no doubt have some sort of suggestions.

I wrote too often, and I wrote too much when I first got here.  For whatever reasons, that’s true.  But as things started to get better, I stopped.  And I DO have an experiential learning requirement to fulfill.  So I’ll try to write a good few more times before I leave.  I know I have a few weeks to make up for.

I can’t help but look outside at the surrounding buildings and think, “Why the fuck was I so pissed at how adorable all of the buildings are?”

1 thought on “Procrastination

  1. Marcel Rotter

    I am glad to see that you are happy. Why don’t people feel the urge to write when they are completely happy? Because everything is in balance. There is no need to complain about anything, but it is also difficult to describe the perfect state of bliss. For the outsider, a description of the perfect state of happiness must be boring. Our interest is peaked by the unbalanced, the drama, if you want.
    But happiness can be expressed in music, in painting, in film, in poetry.

    Will das Glück nach seinem Sinn
    Dir was Gutes schenken,
    Sage Dank und nimm es hin
    Ohne viel Bedenken.

    Jede Gabe sei begrüsst,
    Doch vor allen Dingen:
    Das worum du dich bemühst,
    Möge dir gelingen.

    – Wilhelm Busch 1832-1908

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